Update time! Day 76.

Hello friends! Sitting on campus, waiting for my 11:30 vocal lesson, and I figured what better way to spend my time than doing a little blogging. I really have a ton of work to do, but this is more fun. I have an abstract due on Friday for my research project that I'm working on right now. It's really hard to explain what you're going to do for the next 8 months when you haven't actually done anything yet. My working title is...wait for it..."Impact of vaccine platforms and anti-inflammatory drugs on the ability to separate tumor-specific autoimmunity from autoimmune pathology in a melanoma mouse model." Mouthful and a half. It is actually easier to write than I anticipated, but still. It's no small feat to explain cancer immunotherapy in 500 words. I also have to do a godforsaken chapter summary for a 2nd year psych class that I'm in. I signed up for a chapter swap group and purposely chose a chapter that wasn't needed til the second midterm since this is a busy week, and then they up and decided that everyone needed to submit them a week before the first midterm, aka this Thursday. Unnecessary and annoying. The course is actually fairly interesting though...we're talking right now about facial recognition (or lack thereof) which is particularly apt for me obviously. People keep asking me about that, and it really is strange. I've had absolutely zero "identity problems", which was one of my biggest fears going into this whole thing. I thought I'd have at least a while of looking in the mirror and freaking out, but that hasn't happened once. While still in the hospital I did make them open the bathroom cabinet so I couldn't see the mirror when I hobbled past, but that was more because I looked like Sloth from The Goonies than anything else. But since then, completely normal. Minds and bodies are crazy stuff, people. Who knew that you could change your face completely and still recognize yourself as yourself? Not me! What has been awkward, though, is at least 5 times I've passed people on campus that I know quite well and waved, and they've stared at me blankly and walked past. I don't think 5 people have decided to stop liking me so I'm pegging it on the lack of recognition. I do enjoy the 5 second pause before the realization as I start talking, though. Always entertaining. Ooh on that note, here is a comparison shot from last Tuesday (10 week mark). I think the swelling has gone down even since then, but it's a good side by side. 

10 weeks post-op

As my mother points out, yes it is a particularly bad before shot, but I couldn't put a nice photogenic smiley before shot or it wouldn't look as cool. That's the cardinal rule of before and after shots.

This weekend was very exciting. My mom came for lunch on Friday which was awesome because she hasn't seen me since I moved back 3 weeks ago! Big change in the swelling. Then it was homecoming on Saturday, and although we didn't actually get tickets (they sold out in 20 MINUTES), it was still wonderful. So weird to think that this is the last homecoming of my undergrad. (Cue the emotional music and slideshow of memories.) We got all dressed up in our red, black, and yellow and had some fun. In the evening we ended up going to "funk night" at one of the bars downtown that my roommate is obsessed with and it was way better than I expected. I did my best in all photos to not smile, so there are an excessive number of pictures with my tongue out or growling fiercely. You know how it is. Last night I discovered though that my smile really is coming along! I still have a little bit of that "I watch you while you sleep" look because the top half of my face is immobile, but it's getting there. The way less fun event of last night was when my poor roommate Rebecca broke her heel in a hockey fiasco. OUCH. We brought them food to the hospital but I didn't stay with them. They got home by 12:30, crutches in tow. 4 hours in the ER actually isn't that bad of a wait for a non-life-threatening injury I suppose, but it was quite the long day for her since she drove back from Montreal and then played 2 intramural games. She's a champ!

Overall I'm feeling quite good. Even though I'm feeling better (whether I've tricked myself into thinking so, or I actually am), I'm making a very conscious effort to not overdo it. Trying very hard. I'm still doing my exercises like a good girl, and the pain is minimal. Last week I was eating with headphones in! I never could do that before because the grinding of the joints was so loud. That was one of the first direct improvements I've noticed. I've been sick all week with a wicked cold though which isn't fun...it's really hard to blow your nose when you have screws right behind it, let me tell you! The only thing that's bothering me is that I've realized that my scars aren't even, as stupid as that sounds. They are both beautifully thin and straight, but they're not exactly symmetrical under my chin. The rest of my face is now perfectly symmetrical, so I wish they were too! Well actually I just wish I hadn't noticed it. Ah well, I'll just bio-oil the crap out of them until I can't see them anymore. Either that or I'll just stop being crazy and remind myself of how exquisite they are (they actually are unbelievably well done). On a more positive note, I'm crushing it in Fantasy Football. I won last week, and this week not only am I winning but I've got the highest projected total in the league with 147. That's right. The Goaldiggers are bringin the heat.

Anyway, off to sing now. I'll end this post with yet another selfie. I'll give up the selfies when the face novelty wears off, I promise. One of these days I might even smile.

Day 75

Yay for swelling going down! It's up to you now, facial muscles and nerves. I believe in you!

A

Hi from Guelph!

Well, I successfully made it back to school and finished my first 2 days of classes. Go figure!

I was thinking about moving on Tuesday, but I desperately wanted to settle in, so by the grace of some higher power I got my act together and was ready for Monday night. Not without a break for some selfies of course:

Day 55

It was really hard to leave...all of a sudden my magical summer of tv, ice cream, and having nothing to do was ripped out from under me. All my roommates had moved in by the time I got here which was nice. When I arrived, the boys were here with 2 friends of theirs and they were getting ready to go out- I actually joined them! I lasted downtown far later than I care to admit, but it was a really fun night. Not too shabby for someone who hadn't been out later than 10:30 since early July (and that was across the street from my house).

That reminds me- I had another first-since-July: a drink! The day before I moved in, I finished my narcotics, and 3 of my roommates came and picked me up and we went to a Jays game. That's right...my first beverage in 2 months was a $10 tallcan of Budweiser. And it was glorious. Certainly more glorious than the Jays themselves, who were losing 9-0 until the 7th inning (it ended 9-4). It was a great, sunburn-filled end to my summer.

Anyway, back to Guelph. Tuesday and Wednesday night I had 5 hour training sessions with the tour guides. I'm holding off on actually giving any campus tours for a little while, but it was still nice to see everyone (and get some free food). :)

Wednesday I actually did get to see my mom again, because she came and picked me up for an appointment with my surgeon. It went really well! He seems so happy with how things are going, which is really reassuring. He also set up my lovely little therabite (see photo). Basically I put this contraption in my mouth and squeeze it to stretch my jaw open. Shockingly it doesn't hurt at all...it looks like a torture device so I was preparing for the worst. Much less horrific than it looks.

Thursday I had orientation at my new lab, one class, and choir rehearsal in Waterloo. I was more than pleasantly surprised by how well I could sing! I think I was more scared than anything, but all went well. Looks like I'll get to keep my job after all! So much relief.

Yesterday was also a good day. I had class at 9:30, then I managed to drop off 2 course waiver forms, a form to change calendar years, buy my textbooks, and get my bus pass ALL BY 10:45. Haven't felt that productive in quite awhile. My roommate Garnet and I had almost as productive of an afternoon- power nap, Staples, beer store and groceries, and home in time for supper! In the evening, all 5 of us went to a party at the house of some friends of theirs which was fun. Our night was capped off by walking home in the torrential downpour.

In what I can only assume to be a narcotic-induced decision, I volunteered a few weeks ago to make cupcakes for our choir rehearsal/welcome back dinner/party/whatever thing that's happening today. I planned to make them yesterday but ran out of time, so I had to whip them up this morning. And they look just awful. My original idea was to make them German themed, in honour of our competition in Germany in April (in which we came 3rd woooo). Do you know how hard it is to make German themed cupcakes? Have you ever thought about it? Whether I was colouring the icing or the actual cake, how on earth would you make it black without being black licorice? And how would the German flag look when the red part is actually pink, since that is always how red food colouring turns out. And if I made them plain with german-themed decor, what would I put on them? I ran out of ideas past lederhosen, schnitzel and pretzels, and really, those would just look stupid on a cupcake wouldn't they? These are all unanswered questions that ran through my head this morning as I tried to bake in a new house. All the extra time spent trying to find things didn't actually help me come to any more conclusions. So, long story short, I decided to just make fun colourful cupcakes. I've been meaning to do this forever- where you make different coloured batter and layer it. In theory, they are awesome. But looking at them, I find them particularly unappealing looking. Kind of like superkid ice cream, but not quite as bright. I'm going to ignore the fact that some of them look slightly undercooked and just ice them white. Before anyone eats them I'm definitely going to give a little warning that they might be disasters, and cross my fingers that they like me for more than just my baking abilities.

So that is where I'm at right now! I got kind of bummed out last night because I was meeting all these new people and I couldn't even smile at anyone. Do you know how awkward it is to make eye contact with someone when you can't even grin in acknowledgement? It's very awkward, and I probably came off as rude. My surgeon said on Wednesday that it can take up to a year or year and a half to be able to smile again (IF AT ALL), but he is very optimistic about me. One thing that keeps running through my head is grad photos. No one wants to be that girl that finally gets to don the black robes and earn her red and gold BScH grad hood, only to be giving a blank stare in every single shot. Come on little facial nerves/muscles, you can do it! On a positive note though, I think the swelling is coming down a bit. A bit. At least my new roommates are awesome, if not my new face yet.

Anyway, time to go ice some "cupcakes", if you can even call them that.  :)

A